How To Determine If You Will Be Successful? Know Thyself
The thing with ambitious people is that, it is very easy to fall prey to your own ambitions and become delusional. It is important to recognize that, having big dreams that no one else dare to think of, is only the first step. You may have all the faith in the world that you are going to succeed eventually, but are you? Hence, it is important to be aware of your circumstances, to know how likely that you are going to succeed, and if there is anything you can do right now at this moment to add onto the probability.
You see, being successful is by definition about being better than the other people. How successful you are, depends on how much better you are compared to the rest of the population. I don't mean it in a superior/inferior way, but more of... what can you do, are able to do, that the other people can't? In other words, is there any unique contribution that you can provide to the world that the others cannot? The more unique and important your contributions are, the more valuable and successful you will become!
Let's compare a few hypothetical examples. Consider a few persons below:
- A commerce graduate from a local university who can speak only okay English.
- A commerce graduate from a local university with good results, who can speak only okay English.
- A commerce graduate from a local university who can speak fluent English.
I bet you will have no problem point out that, person 2 and 3 would have better chance to succeed than person 1 right? In fact in Malaysia, where so many of the people can't speak fluent English, the ability to converse fluently and confidently in English is a quality that really stands out and sought after. And I would personally say that person 3 would be more successful than person 2 if the circumstances don't change.
Now let's move a level up and compare these examples:
- A commerce graduate from a local university who can speak fluent English.
- An engineering graduate from a local university who can speak fluent English.
- An medicine graduate from an overseas university who can speak fluent English.
Do you have a problem in identifying who is more likely to succeed in the future? I mean assuming that the commerce degree is not a professional degree like accounting or finance, it would pale in comparison with a professional degree like engineering because while engineering people can take up commerce easily and replace them, it is not as easy for the commerce people to do it the other way around. Then there is the even more specialized degree of medicine.
Of course, to compare things like that are over-simplifying and would hardly be accurate. But let me just make my points first.
Assuming that you are this commerce graduate from a local university, who can speak only okay English, and you meet all these overseas engineering/doctor/pharmacy graduates who can speak fluent English confidently, it is easy to realize that if you want to be more successful than them, then you better have qualities that they don't have to get ahead!
You can begin by taking up an English course and really brush up your language skills. Now you may be equal to them in terms of English, but how about their professional background? Good news is, you don't have to match their everything. This world is abundant enough for you to be unique and be successful in your own ways. You can perhaps, build strong connections and networks. Study and master inter-personal skills (something professionals, especially the technical people often lack in), or other expertise that will help you with your career.
Since the possibilities are unlimited, I will leave the details to you. But the important point to note is that... If you are one of the very ambitious people, it is vital to not be delusional and always review your own probability to succeed. We all have to start somewhere. After graduating from university (or even, without graduating from university) you may find yourself ahead or behind the rest of the society. It is not important where you are at right now, but where you are heading.
A lot of the young sales people I see in Malaysia (and boy these are the people who are highly ambitious but also easily delusional) keep looking for the next great product or networking business opportunities to join and to make it big. They want to be in the top tier of the society, they want to drive BMWs and Mercedez just like their boss. But what they don't realize is that, that's almost like praying for their fortunes to fall from the sky. Yes there are some very successful salesmen and they earn a hell lot. But do these fresh graduate salesmen have the same qualities to succeed like them?
I admit that some do. Their enthusiasm and determination are unbreakable. Others however, are arrogant, can't speak proper English, untactful, pissy, dishonest, and they think that being like that would get them ahead? No way! Those are not unique and important contributions. Those contributions are easily replaceable by other idiots of the society. In fact, the internet is steadily replacing all the needs for a salesman, as witnessed in more developed countries like Australia. So you can say that the contributions of salesmen are really, replaceable.
When an ordinary sales person develops and improves on his skills, he transcends and becomes a business development executive, an online marketer guru etc... His skills and contributions would be unique and hard to be replaced. He will become highly valuable and sought after. Guess what comes after that? Success.
The reason why it is a common phenomenon to specialize in the world currently is that, having specialized knowledge is a shortcut to allow people to be unique and irreplaceable. Then, success has to come when they are highly sought after. :) You may not want to specialize for any reason and that's okay. You just need to realize that, having big dreams doesn't automatically get you ahead the rest of the people. You need to match it with good attitude, good mindset, good skillset, and any other things that would set you apart from the others. If you don't have them yet, start working on it. :)
Life After Hitting Rock Bottom
You know, I never truly understood life. At first, I thought having the guts to dream big and not willing to conform to others would lead to a great life. As a matter of fact, it led to much miseries. Then I thought, working hard is the path to great life. Actually maybe I didn't truly believe it, then I came across the Law of Attraction books, it resonates so much with me, I started looking elsewhere. But life in general, hasn't improved much. And with each day, my dreams continued to shatter into pieces without mercy.
Then came December 2009. It was a festive season and sales were slow due to a lot of holidays. Practically every friday in that month was a public holiday and public holidays affect my sales a great deal. I had a great month in November, best I had up to that point, yet I wasn't earning as much as I anticipated. So I really had high hopes that I could push it further in December. There, my hopes were melting as each day goes pass. Already being far as hell from my ultimate target, yet that month I was going backwards. It was really hard to swallow.
I was feeling so exhausted, so tired of my life. It feels like nothing is going according to plans There was so much resentment and resistance with what-is, I could hardly breath. I wasn't sure where I was going, but I know I wasn't happy feeling so stuck with life.
Then my birthday came, and shortly the new year came. Knowing that I wasn't going anywhere and that I am too tired fighting against the flow of life, I surrendered. For once, despite hating and detesting of joining the rat race, I started accepting the possibility of going into workforce if there is better for me. My aim for 2010 was simple and measurable. I want [an X amount] a month in salary. Something very basic for a working fresh graduate, but was immeasurably hard for me and my start-up business. Then something very strange happened.
You see towards the end of December 2009, instead of resentment against life, I slowly started accepting what-is. I was still making plans for my business and learning more about how to set achievable goals for myself, but at the same time I was on the look out for opportunities that would allow me to jump onto the [an X amount] bandwagon. :) I was really, willing to give up on my dreams if that's what it takes to get on with my life. I really didn't feel like I had any more energy to fight against life anymore.
On the first week of 2010, out of expection, the sales volume has already exceeded my best ever month in 2009. :O All happened in just one week instead of a month, and at the very first week at that! It all happened when I have actually decided that giving up isn't such a bad idea after all. That very moment, I stop trying to go upstream. I let go, and the flow of life started carrying me downstream. I gotta say that it feels GOOOD! It feels DAMN GOOD! To quote Jerry and Esther Hicks, "Nothing you ever wanted is upstream. "
It feels damn good to feel that life is finally being cooperative. It feels damn good to feel that I no longer have to fight for anything, or against anything to get what I want. But guess what? I still am willing to accept that perhaps one day, I might have to go into the workforce again, and I no longer hold any resistance towards that.
The Power of Now is accurate in pointing out that, when you finally are able to accept the what-is without any resistance, then miraculously, everything that you were resisting seems to be disappearing, with life being very cooperative out of a sudden.
I love this feeling! No wonder so many of them out there make it big only after they hit the rock bottom. I guess without going through the rock bottom, it's hard to achieve this kind of vibrational state. To be finally willing to give up control and just let life be.
The Life After... Life After Hitting Rock Bottom
The post above was actually written around 15th January 2010. What that is added below is written today, 16th March 2010.
2 months quickly went by after I last wrote the article and saved it as draft. My income has been steadily increasing since then, exactly matching with how I felt then... that life has been cooperative and helpful. I guess that shouldn't be a surprise as I wrote previously in an article, well-being is natural to us as long as we don't resist it. After surrendering innerly and dropping all the resistance I had against life, the life finally gets to flow again. :)
Lately, I got a part-time engineering/IT job. I am due to start next week. For everyday, 5 days a week, I will be working 3 hours in the morning, and I am free to go and work on my business in the afternoon. I have to be honest to you that, such a job is almost impossible to find in Malaysia, yet somehow it found me. Yes I was actually asked if I am interested in that job, instead of looking through classified ads to search for the best job.
I don't know about you, but life has really been so nice to me starting this year, I feel so awesomely blessed. But I understand that this is all part of the "let life flows through you and offers no resistance" thingie, and I am constantly making sure that no resistance is there within me.
I truly believe that if life is not working for you, you can make it work just like how I do. Surrender now and go with the flow. How? I think I might have to write another article on that. :P
Your One And Only Purpose Of Life, Be Happy
Have you ever been through a period of boredom, like you are meant to do something different? Something big and beautiful perhaps, or something simpler and happier. It differs from a person to person, and sometimes it feels like... you are trying to look for your purpose of life, the something that you are meant to be doing in this very brief life that you are given with. But that would be ridiculous because everyone has exactly the same purpose of life and it requires no seeking at all. All you ever meant to be... is to be happy.
Yes, to be happy. That is your purpose of life. That is my purpose of life. And that is the purpose of life everyone else has.
But wait you say, it can't be that simple. What about those people who are made to do great things. Great leaders who have led nations out of crisis, great philanthropists who have saved millions to billions of lives, and great thinkers who have inspired generations and generations of people? Surely they were written in their destiny somewhat and that they were able to discover it much later, eventually fulfilling what they were born to complete.
Let me try my best to explain. And there are two things that I need to elaborate. First, the definition of happiness. Second, how it leads to doing what you are "meant to be doing", which in my opinion are the channels to fulfill your life purpose (ie being happy) instead.
Definition of Happiness
Happiness in this context, is slightly different from what we usually define it as. You know when you get a brand new car, or a brand new house, or something that you have been anticipating is finally coming, you would be telling everybody around you that you are "soooooooo happy". And it would be feel somewhat like a toned down version of excitement isn't it? More subtle, yet probably last longer than excitement too.
But in terms of the purpose of life, happiness would feel a lot more like... contentment. It is a very subtle feeling of peace, of everything is going smoothly and as it should be. To put it simply, it feels like life is being very cooperative to you and nothing is going against you. There is no resistance within you so to speak.
So for you or everyone else, there is only 1 purpose of life, that is to live this feeling. The correct term would be, to be at peace, to be content, to be happy.
Then, What Are You Meant To Be Doing?
However, if the purpose of life is so simple, then what you are meant to be doing this life? Isn't there something that is destined for you by somewhere beyond the heavens?
The answer is very simple. You are meant to do whatever that would allow you to be at peace, to be content, to be happy as much as possible, and it doesn't matter if it involves a great mission of life, or just being plain average and simple.
Sometimes we tend to confuse that, our purpose of life has to be something grand. The thing is that, people who tend to discuss their own purpose of life, tend to be people who are more ambitious, who would like to see and control how their lives unfold. And so you hear them discussing how to inspire people, how to change humanity, how to save others lives. But noooo, it doesn't have to be that grand. It is perfectly okay to just be an employee in McDonald's that serves others with a smile, as long as that's what you feel happy about.
The Easiest Way To Find Your Channels Of Being Happy, Is Just To Do What That Allows You To Be Happy The Most
Fact is, simple and average living people tend to be happier than the ambitious people. They are more in-tune with life so to speak. They do not really resist life. Whatever life throws them, they accept it and moves on. Without any resistance, it is easy to be at peace with circumstances, to be content with what they have, however little it might be sometimes, and just be happy with life. Of course, try not to confuse simple and average living people, with people living below poverty line. They may be a lawyer living a good middle-class income, but still leads a simple life.
Ambitious people on the other hand, tend to resist life. They like to think that they are able to control how their life unfolds, and sometimes when things don't go their way, they become enraged, thus offering a lot of resistance towards life and no longer being at peace with circumstances. At the same time, these people are not content being simple and average, they want a mission that they can work on their entire life, something to be proud on when they look back at their last days. And that's absolutely nothing wrong with that. Problem is, most of us hardly know what that mission is... no?
It is not easy to figure out what you are meant to be doing, and that's for a very good reason. You are never destined to be doing anything. Even if you delve into destiny study, it usually points out a likely path that is not guaranteed. It's up to you to decide what you would like to achieve in this life, and some of your natural talents, natural gifts may lead you into certain likely fields.
So, a good way to figure out what is your purpose of life, or in the context of this article, the channel in which to fulfill your purpose of life which is happiness, is to keep doing things that allow you to feel content about life.
Everyime you do something that makes you feel happy, it leads you nearer to the channels of fulfilling your life purpose. You give things a try, and decide that they are not too bad at all, and you won't mind doing some of them more often. Through that, you would refine your desires and be more specific what is even better in allowing you to be happy. Eventually, you would come upon something that you have finally decided that, you don't mind doing this for the rest of your life at all.
The channels may be changing through your life, or it may not. It doesn't matter. But there will be something that at this moment, you don't mind, or better still, would love to do.
You may start out as a tax accountant, sorting out the taxation problems that your customers may have. And you find delights in solving what your customers perceive as hell-ish tasks. So you keep doing it. One day, you may be inspired to bring it up to a next level. You ask yourself, "hey why don't I run an educational seminar on the taxation system to educate your customers and their friends?", and you ran your first seminar. Not long afterwards, you receive feedbacks that your attendees would like more information on certain topics, and you started running more specific seminars in addressing those needs. Then you might even find the urge to write a book, start a blog, or run a advisory group with help from volunteers. One day you look back, and you realize, wow... you have done so much. But really, it all started just by doing what you like to do. :)
Of course your life wouldn't unfold in the exact way. But hopefully it would give you a rough idea how things would be like, just sticking to what you like. I was just telling a friend the other day that, I think most professions that help people one way or another way, via healing, via inspiring, via motivating etc, are likely to be the most fulfilling jobs. So maybe you can start there.
Now perhaps you belong to a different group, you are an accountant who hates his job. "Every time the end of financial year comes, I have to stay up all night and rush for deadlines. How could I ever feel happy with this job?" you say. If you cannot accept it, try to remove yourself from it. Look for another job, perhaps transfer out of your department. Your new job may have lower salary, or it may not be exactly what you want to do right now (which perhaps you do not yet have a solid idea), but it is a good start to not feel all the resistance everyday. Then slowly, explore and look for things that please you. Slowly but surely, you will get closer and closer to a channel that would make you content with life. Tricky bit is that, you will have to start soon, if not now, or it would not appear magically out of thin air one day and just land on your laps.
In Short...
In essence, the common mis-conception of purpose of life, is that it has to be something grand and inspiring, like being the president, being the the richest guy in the world, or being a saint like Buddha etc, and that the ones who achieved it, must have discovered their purpose of life somehow one day. Truth is, it is nothing like that. Your purpose of life is simple, that is to be happy, to be at peace, to be content with your life. The channels to achieve this purpose could vary greatly and it doesn't matter.
Why did some of the greatest people in history end up doing what they do? Because as they continue to be, or strive to be content with their lives, they realize that certain channels, certain mediums, certain missions are more likely to allow their being of happiness than the others, and so they moved towards the great things that they have done.
But let's not discount many others who lived their lives happily without leaving any footprint in the history. They do, have fulfilled their purpose of life.
My Version Of God
God is life. Life is everywhere. God is not some external divine being that you have to believe in and worship.
God created the world, similar to how we create our body. We are all interconnected cells in God's body.
The only way to honoring God, is to honor life itself. Stay conscious, and live life to your fullest potential.
The only reason for life, is for God to experience himself through you. You are an irreplaceable part in the grand design of the world.
4 Easy Steps To Setting Achievable Resolution And Goals
Another new year has dawned upon us. Apart from attending parties and recovering from your hang over, have you done the most important thing for the year yet like creating a list of your resolutions or goals for the upcoming year? Most of us would have no doubt have a brief idea of what we would like to achieve in the coming new year. Unless goals are created in an empowering way, they are nothing but a fleeting idea. True goal, act as a signpost pointing you towards the ultimate reward that you have desired.
Here in this article, the term Resolution refers to the ultimate goal of the year, where as the term Goal refers to the mini-steps leading to your Resolution.
Only 1 Resolution For The Year
The most common mistake everybody does, is creating list of resolutions. The list would contain so many things that a person would love to improve on in the coming year that he wouldn't be able to remember any of them without the list. My advice is, don't do that!
Stick with only 1 resolution. Decide which area of your life requires the most attention this year, and set a resolution to improve upon it. Sticking with only 1 resolution allows you to focus 110% on it and plan your entire year accordingly without conflict. More importantly, you will remember your resolution through the year and consistently measuring your own progress towards it. That will keep you focused and motivated. :)
Having more than 1 resolution not only create possible conflicts, it also spreads thin your energy and focus. You may end up only making minimal progress in all of them. You may also find yourself more likely to switch your focus to another resolution when times get tough, instead of biting the bullet and pushing right through. As much as all of us wanting maximum results in minimal time, working on 1 thing at a time is THE most efficient way. Try raising the standards instead if you feel that you are not being challenged enough living with only 1 resolution.
Your Resolution Must Be Measurable So That It Can Be Broken Down to Measurable Goals
Your resolution and goals need to be measurable. It is important to be able to determine whether you are there or not. It should only be a yes or no every time you do an evaluation on your progress. Are you there yet? Yes or no? If no, how far are you?
A bad goal would be asking for financial abundance in the upcoming year. How much is abundant for you? $10,000? $100,000? $100 million? Your mind isn't able to compute the end results. For that reason, you will not be able to break down your goal into smaller steps to lead you towards the your resolution.
However if you instead, set a resolution of earning $10,000 monthly by end of the year. Now you can break down the resolution into smaller goals for every month. $2,000 for January, $2,500 for February, $4,000 for March etc. Then through the year, you can measure your own progress against your smaller goals, and adjust accordingly if your progress is slower or faster than anticipated. For example, you would be able to ask yourself if you are earning $2,500 in February, in March, and the answer would be yes or no only.
Being able to measure your progress is very important because if you are slower than anticipated, you will need to find out more ways to accelerate your progress.
What do you have to change to achieve your goals?
This is definitely the most important step in setting achievable goals. Most people forget to ask this question when laying out their resolutions and goals, as if the goals would automatically be accomplished without nothing ever being changed. But we all know that that hardly happens. Hence, you need to ask yourself, what do you have change to achieve your goals?
Say you want to earn $10,000 a month by end of the year, as stated in the example above, what do you have to change? Do you want to get a part-time job, change your existing work, take up a professional course, start looking into investing etc? You may even feel that starting a business is the path to go. Whichever way you choose isn't important. What's most important is that, you must not sit at where you are hoping for a windfall. It doesn't happen.
Depending on your circumstances, the answer may not always be very straight-forward. Then perhaps this question would serve you better: "What am I willing to change to achieve my goals?" Set your bottom line and look out for opportunities. When they come, and if they are not below your bottom line, why not give it a try right? :)
All goals require sacrifices. If you are not willing to change anything, then quite likely you wouldn't be able to accomplish anything by end of the year. How your life is now... is how your life will be if nothing changes.
To put it shortly, the ability to achieve your yearly resolution, ultimately lies in your ability to be committed to the changes that would lead you towards the end result.
Write Everything Down
So you have chosen your one and only resolution for the year. It is measurable, and you have further broken it down into goals to be achieved for the 12 months of the year. You have also asked yourself the most important question, what do you have to change in order to succeed, and you have figured out a pretty good answer to that question. What's next? Write everything down!
It is important to stay committed to your decisions made regarding your resolution and goals. You can't stay committed if you start forgetting tiny bits of them. Write everything down in your journal, in a piece of card, in a place where you are sure that you would keep it for the rest of the year, then refer to your notes every now and then. You may find it helpful to put up a copy of these notes on walls where you frequent, just to remind yourself of your resolutions and goals through the year.
These notes that you jot down, will be your judge. Every month, take out the notes and ask yourself if you have achieved the monthly goal. Yes or no? Evaluate if you have been sticking with the changes that you have decided earlier on as required. Make sure that everything is on track. :)
Without these notes to hold you accountable, you may find yourself straying away from your goals unconsciously and the next minute before you realize, you are in another new year setting another list of goals to be achieved without the ones before being accomplished first.
So there you go. :) Happy New Year, and may all your resolution and goals come true!